While watching some inspiring footage of Doorbuster Specials the other evening— eager shoppers knocked to the ground and trampled—I was wondering what was going to become of the Christmas story itself. How is it going to compete with the gripping drama of the retail economy? I mean, what would get it the kind of attention Mel Gibson brought to Easter? A little baby, animals, loving mother. Where’s the action, violence, torture, blood? But there’s one part of the story, known only to Matthew apparently, that has great potential. It seems that the Magi asked Herod where the King of the Jews was about to be born, which kind of freaked the collaborating sellout, and he had all the little kids murdered. Not to worry, however, for baby Jesus had split to Egypt. Must’ve been hard to leave behind all those kids who were supposed to be you, but nobody said it was easy to be Jesus. The old masters knew the story of course: