You can’t make up this stuff.  That the public would be shocked that someone whose nickname is “A-Rod” used performing enhancing drugs, shocks me.  It shouldn’t.  I live a few blocks from a “Drug-Free Zone,” which means, of course, that drugs are sold there.  The evening news is filled with drug commercials in which the litany of possibly lethal effects takes up more time than the vague benefits you’re supposed to “ask your doctor about.”  Parents dose kids with amphetamines so that they’ll perform better in a screwed up school system, but search kids’ lockers with dogs to unearth evil pot and claim we’re not violating their privacy.  I think we have a drug problem, but it’s not the drugs.  It’s the cloud of bullshit through which we view the issue.  We’re a drug taking species.  Get over it.

And A-Rod, it’s okay.  I know all the other boys were doing it too.  Run along and play now, but remember you’re a Role Model.  Show America’s youth there’s nothing more glorious than wacking a ball with a stick and running around in circles without drugs.  Except for prescription painkillers.  You’ll need those. Ask your doctor.