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As part of our continuing coverage of God’s bid for president, God in 2008<\/a>, we bring you the following: In a bold policy speech, God scoffed at McCain surrogate Senator Isakson of Georgia who, in a call for offshore drilling, claimed that America’s like a “starving man sitting on a ham sandwich.” God proclaimed, “America’s more like a morbidly obese diabetic competitive eater who’s certain there’s a Twinkie buried somewhere in the cushions of his over-stuffed couch along with his missing remote controls. Who’s starving when they consume 25% of the world’s oil? Drilling offshore is like running down to the 7-11 to buy a carton of Marlboros when you’ve resolved to quit smoking. But who am I to deny my beloved creatures, made in my image?”<\/p>\n God proposed to do what no other human candidate can do: Not drill<\/em> for oil but create it! “If oil’s what you want, if elected I’ll make so much oil, you can have a third tap in your house\u00e2\u20ac\u201dhot water, cold water, and gasoline. Burn it all! Burn some more! Forget solar! Forget wind! Never give conservation a thought! (Not that you do anyway).”<\/p>\n There was only one provision of his plan that met with a chilly reception: “But don’t come asking me for more atmosphere, oceans, forests. Don’t ask me to bring back the extinct species or melted glaciers. Who needs them, right? You got places to go, things to do! Just remember: It’s the Pottery Barn planet\u00e2\u20ac\u201dyou break it; you own it. So fire up those leaf blowers while there are still trees! Get an RV and tow an SUV and a couple of ATV’s and Jet Ski behind it! Enjoy life while it lasts! Real hope for your<\/em> future, not for some whiny brats who aren’t even born yet!”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" As part of our continuing coverage of God’s bid for president, God in 2008, we bring you the following: In a bold policy speech, God scoffed at McCain surrogate Senator Isakson of Georgia who, in a call for offshore drilling, … Continue reading